Videos gay vintage

If you, or someone you know, experiences a burning sensation, please contact your doctor immediately, if not sooner. 

And it’s no wonder she drives away in a car previously piloted by her male co-star, at video’s end. Albeit one I made up, but still...

Fun Fact: The Waitresses did the theme song for the short-lived 1982 sitcom Square Pegs, which starred a teenage Sarah Jessica Parker, so that adds some gay street cred to their resume.

Billy Joel, “Allentown” (1982) 

The “Piano Man” AKA Mr.

William Joel doesn’t exactly spring to mind in terms of connecting the word gay to him. Hallelujah, indeed! 

Fun Fact: Watching this video instantly makes you gay, gay, gay!

Culture Club, “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me” (1982) 

Bless my Aunt Maryellen’s heart, upon seeing this video on MTV for the first time she gasped, “Looks like he should be called Girl George.” Someone was quipping to be clever. 

I have very fond recollections of Boy George skipping around the pool setting everyone’s nerves on edge…was he a man, a woman?

Whoopsie. 

Elton John, “I’m Still Standing” (1983)

This one threw me for a loop! Even football players, both of whom are wearing half-jerseys, get in on the dancing action.    

Fun Fact: In 1986, Boy George appeared as himself on an episode of The A-Team, wherein he and the rest of the Club performed “Move Away” and “Karma Chameleon.” You really can’t make this stuff up and I pity the fool that didn’t dance! 

Joe Jackson, “Steppin’ Out” (1982)

This video was on heavy rotation on MTV and highlighted Jackson doing what he did best, tickling the ivories—no, not like that!

He seemed both out of place and in the right place at the same time in my teenage eyes. 

Fun Fact: Joel considers the song as being “hopeful” regarding the plight of the unemployed steel workers. Have. Per usual, the cheese stands alone. 

Fun Fact: “The Wild Boys” is based on the 1971 novel of the same name by William S.

Burroughs.

Deniece Williams, “Let’s Hear It for the Boy” (1984)

If you’ve seen the movie Footloose a million times like I have, then you’ll recognize this song playing over a montage of Kevin Bacon teaching Chris Penn how to bust a move, which is highly suspect in the heterosexual world. 

However, the video doesn’t leave much to the imagination with its depictions of a bespeckled, piano-playing, dandy fellow who doffs his drab wardrobe for some sweet sunglasses and an outfit that screams, “It’s 1984!” Well, lisps might be a more accurate statement, especially when he dances on top of the piano.

Me. Over. Ok. The Cowboy and Native American had to walk out on stage—what no horses? I mean, I would have.

Fun Fact: Sir Elton met Renate Blauel  while recording his 1983 comeback album Too Low for Zero, on which “I’m Still Standing” was featured and they married the following year while he was on tour in Australia. 

Madonna, “Burning Up” (1983)

This was a difficult choice!

Subtle and Guh, Guh, Guh, GAY! What was not-so-subtle, but still 4 G worthy, was the queen with the, um, flaming baton who was wearing onion skins. Wow, that made me sound old!

Plus, the ensemble really compliments his bubble wig and porn star ’stache! 

The other boys in the band—see what I did there—also play females to varying degrees and ages, with Roger Taylor looking oddly like a forerunner to young Britney Spears. And that was his own doing. There’s lots of slo-mo diving lads in Speedos, including one that Somerville fancies, but his attentions are rebuffed after Ol’ Straighty gave him the eye.

Talk about living in a powder keg and giving off sparks! But not on her delivery of the lyrics, especially the one when she intones, “Sucker.” In a word, she’s sass-tastic, and yes, that’s a word. I do for the sole factors of: (a) I love her brand of Rock ‘N Roll, and (b) she could kick my ass. As in yearning to be “the empress of fashion” and “the captain of the Enterprise.” The former was achieved with Cindy Wilson’s Judy Jetson-inspired ensemble, plus Ricky Wilson’s and Keith Strickland’s flying saucer-shaped hats in pink and white, respectively.

There is also an odd The Brady Bunch quality to their dance number done in the spirit of campiness and not of general lack of rhythm (I’m looking at you Jan and Peter!).

Playing the piano, silly! With no less than two motorcycles for The Cop and The Leather Man, a jeep for The Army Man and what looks to be a mini-John Deere tractor for The Construction Worker. The pulsating rhythms of the opening strains of “The Wild Boys,” mixed with a drum machine effect that mirrors gun fire, perfectly sets up the band’s post apocalyptic video. 

The Mad Max adjacent vibe—and the Wild Boys’ loin cloth outfits—will leave you wondering if it will be a Thunderdome type situation of two men entering, one man leaving...in bed.